My boss just came in asking if I took a lunch break I replied "no" he said I have to take a break it is the law or something or another. I just nodded okay went to the bathroom cried for a moment and came back to my desk. What the fuck, do they have cameras every fucking where in this bitch? No, I didn't think so - who would know? I am not ruining my determination over a law besides what would I do for an hour alone in a foreign place with social anxiety and paranoia. I plan on eating some grapes when I get home and drinking tea for the rest of the evening. I am going to get my slip and dance/flip my calories off because tomorrow is my ballet and gymnastic one(s) recitals. I wish I had a verrrrry sharp razors some days, do you?
PEACE.LOVE.MONEY.
~L

 CREDITED TO CAUTIOUS_GIRL
Why do I even opt to help my boss? He is busy I understand but I go out of my way (meaning I am not lazy and show some damned good effort) to do projects that are not benefiting me in any kind of way. I am going to stop and stay the hell out of his way for now on because Jameela(girl I work with) seems like an angel(with out wings sitting on her anorexic ass all day letting me answer the majority of phone calls) to him plus she knows his daughter so I guess they are all buddy buddy ya know? Anyways I detest majority of the girls here in the Urban League not a bone of originality their fucking bodies. So I am so alone, awkardly running up and down the hall doing underapperciated tasks for a boss who I think disliked me from the start even though he has not hinted so through words. Life is weird and so am I why can't I be another teenager who at least seems to have it all together but yeah. I am losing weight. I was hungry for some W.G GINDERS but, then I found these icons of Adrianna Lima. I want to look like her(the un-photoshoped version) and be fing brilliant by time I finish college. I also plan on being a virgin until marriage just like her ( it will be hard and I will  be tempted but in the end I want my husband to know all of my love is for him). My face is sexy( random  except for the occasional pimple that arises) why am I cursed with a fat obese body. I am about 5"9.5 to 5"10 165-173 pounds and have an hourglass shape (seriously only barbie is shaped exactly like a coke bottle) f curves and all that they stand for. I am a size thirteen in jeans and large in shirts(mostly breasts and a muffin top) I want to be a size four in jeans and medium or small shirt size by this Christmas. Ultimately my birthday gift to me is to be 135 pounds(blowing out candles on the third of October loves).

CREDITED TO LUSH_XX
Today I have half a day in the office did not do shit just how I like it too. I have to go to the place that placed me here and let me tell you I absolutely hate being 9-19 years old because I have to deal with idioits and such. I know, I know but in the real world  it is much less conforntational and less frequent. That cute guy in the office yesterday told me to enjoy these years(highschool) I am fourteen going to be a sophmore next year there is not much to enjoy really unless you run the streets all day long being fake, are a slutty fast whore, or have money coming out of the ying-yang. I do not enjoy none the said (except the money that which I am working for as of now). My dad felt violated that his teenaged daughter was working and he was not. Now he feels as if he has to make something of himself? Why? Why now I do not understand other than that his manhood was threatened but I should not have to be the inspiration for him to get off of his lazy ass and do something like support his wife and kid? Oh yeah, if I swalllowed my spit when I talked to boys I would choke on my own tongue. Also I love guys - don't misunderstand but I feel when I am around them in real life, disappointed. I do not want to be physically touched as my head(Im not sure if it is my mind) tells me, I do. And I do not want to speak to them either I am more comfortable with girls because I already know what they think of me. And I am fixing my mistakes and improving myself as a person but guys - males are an unknown territory. Tomboys have never been so lucky shit it is probably me and my usual paranoid self stressing "virgin" in all ways possible slightly below my forehead. I will ask this only once. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??????
PEACE.LOVE.MONEY.
~L

CREDITED TO YUUKO-RUKIA
So work is fine. I have no other life but this, quite depressing is it not? But yeah I'm bored fifteen minutes left and my boss quaintly is getting irritated with me. I had lunch less than an hour ago and worked during my only real break. I do not think they like me here that much - can I really blame them? Or maybe I am just being my regular weird pranoid self you know. It is only wensday I am going to be socializing with a bunch of conformist narrow minded teenagers half of thursdays and all fridays. It is just like fucking school that which I also hate but, even more so. I need to go to the library today for some good read ya digg? Plus to look fucking busy during work hours when it is going so slow. I need to draw, write and work out/dance when I get home today. Yesterday I went straight to sleep after ballet class(and half a gyro). On the better side of things this hot guy came into day um didn't catch his name because I am fing death and stuff. But he works here part time so I will definitely see him again XD. One problem I am a freshman turned sophmore of highschool and he is in college and wayyy mature(sexy). Age ain't nothin' but a number, right?
PEACE.LOVE.MONEY.
~L

 
So I am at work and its cool here very beautiful here on the campus. I enjoy being in nice places. I bet the Ohio medical facility is pretty sweet because I am at the business college and I am not even interested in pursing business. I had subway for lunch and I managed to make myself sleepy I came into the room next door to wake up. Plus here at the college of business there are tons of computers for the engineers and such. I wrote a poem entitled "Work" it was pretty cool actually, perhaps I will type it up one day but not right now. Also I am wearing flats or flip  flops tommarow I wore hills today and walked around (the business campus and up the street for Subway) needless to say my feet probably look like the first picture I know that they are raw if anything. I have my recital soon. I am scared first time doing anything alone by myself publicly (beside another girl whose in friggin fourth grade so everyone will be looking at me anyways). I am probably going to practice ballet recital when I get home from work go to class come back draw and write some more. That will be nice and clean my room up some more. Yeah I am absolutely exhausted and I can wait until tonight. Missed gossip girl last night cause I suck but yeah. I am going to go back now because she was falling asleep( my partner that is) I will let her get on the computer and man the desk. I never write in this but whatever I did today good enough for me.
PEACE. LOVE. MONEY. lol
~L